How fulfilling your needs leads to creative fulfillment

What do you need right now? 🤔

When you’re really busy, you might forget to ask yourself that.

I know, I talk about needs a lot, but it’s because being tuned into them is SO IMPORTANT, the very core of how we take care of ourselves. When you pay attention to what you need, you’re also asking yourself how you feel, and that awareness is a key piece of knowing how to pace your work, given your energy.

When you pace yourself better, you can better handle being busy. It’s not just about resting more, although that is usually good, it’s about doing specific things to take care of yourself WHEN you need them. For example, on a jam-packed day, I allowed myself to stare out the window for 5 minutes. That might sound silly, but what I most needed at that moment was a break for my brain, and I know that it helped. Stopping to pet my cat serves the same purpose, and even better, that’s a grounding physical sensation which helps us get out of our whooshing, swirling brains (I see you, fellow anxious people). I'm also a huge fan of the 5-minute breathing break or quick walk.

We have a problematic tendency to totally ignore our bodies, especially when we're busy. A friend once told me she wished she could just be a brain encased in goo, and not deal with all of this body stuff like illness, aches, hunger, etc. I get it - when I was teaching long evenings of back-to-back piano lessons, even taking a bathroom break was challenging!

Your body’s needs might seem inconvenient, like they conflict with what you *should* be doing. Maybe you feel that it’s important to work hard at your day job, take more freelance design work, play extra gigs, or spend more time with your kids, and that crowds out time for exercise, preparing healthy snacks for the week, or taking a bath.

If you can carve out time for even one of these needs this week, you’re setting in motion a great habit that will reduce your overwhelm and replenish your energy, which you can then use to boost your creative practice and finally create the work you’ve been craving.

Make space in your mind

So now you’re listening to what your body is telling you, adjusting accordingly, but if you’re anything like me, you’re probably already overthinking it! I totally get the impulse to inventory all of the areas where you could improve, and make a huge to-do list and plan for improving ALL OF THE THINGS.

But I really don’t want you to set unrealistic expectations and then feel terrible when you can’t fulfill them, because you’re an imperfect human with limited capacity (we all are!) Beating yourself up for not taking care of yourself well enough totally defeats the purpose, but it still happens sometimes, especially for those of us who are perfectionists.

Even though I'm always saying that we have permission to rest, I'm certainly not perfect. I really struggle with that idea, and that's why I have to keep reminding myself, again and again. That's fine, and normal - it's all an ongoing process, which we could view as a relief, that it never HAS to be perfect.

So, make space for adaptability, both in your attitude and your approach. You don’t have to work all of the time, and you don’t have to perfect anything, you just have to commit to the process.

If you’re not sure how to do that, laying the groundwork of self care and habits that support you and your creative practice in a sustainable way is a key part of what we cover in creative coaching together!

Shoulds vs. needs

Many of my clients have a complicated relationship with the word "should". So often it triggers a flood of external pressures, and comes with something that technically sounds good, but that you don't really want to do. "Oh yeah, I should do that..." (spoken halfheartedly) Have you heard the phrase "Stop should-ing all over yourself"?

I'm especially susceptible when I'm researching something that I feel like I don't (yet) know how to do, or something that makes me feel vulnerable, and an endeavor with a less linear path adds even more uncertainty.

“Shoulds” are great, though, when they come from a deep place of caring for ourselves and giving ourselves what we actually need. “True shoulds” from your highest self aren’t the kind I warned about above, because they truly reflect your needs. Over the years, I've gotten better at tapping into my own intuition to see whether a strategy or activity feels like a good fit.

It all comes back to the question:

What makes me feel most like myself?

(Feel free to substitute “highest self” or whatever language feels the best to you.)

I like to set an intention at each new moon (the beginning of the cycle), and this past Sunday I set exactly that intention, since things have been busy lately, I know that my tendency is to neglect myself during those times, and I want to be sure to leave space for my truest self and my creativity. I want to support you in that, too!

Fulfilling your needs is possible

If your next thought is, “That’s not possible, I definitely can’t do everything that makes me feel like myself all of the time!”, don’t worry, the fulfillment of needs doesn’t have to be a binary all-or-nothing, because they’re incremental and ever-shifting. For example, today you might need more sleep than the day before, or you might be more hungry. Every day feels a little different, so just look at this exact moment, the one you’re in right now.

What can you do, right now, to get yourself a tiny bit of the thing you’re craving, or a tiny bit closer?

Or, if you don't know what you need, keep asking and planting that seed. Just asking yourself the question can really shift your awareness enough to listen to the answers that pop up. And sometimes meeting a need is more easily attainable than you thought, with a drink of water, a snack, or a covert deep breath during a frustrating work situation.

In case you’re a perfectionist, stop right there and infuse this process with a little self-compassion - tending to your needs doesn’t have to be perfect or fit any of your preconceived notions. Spoiler alert: it’ll never be perfect, but that’s okay. Making your best effort always gets you closer to the result you’re looking for, even if it takes time.

Lastly, if you think that focusing on fulfilling your own needs sounds selfish, it’s not. That oxygen mask cliche is a cliche for a reason - if you don’t take care of yourself first, you can’t take care of anyone else, or show up to make the creative work you want to make. But with the right support, it definitely is possible!

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I’m here to offer that support so you can reduce overwhelm, reconnect with your needs and channel that newfound energy into your creative practice!

A great way to get started in working together is by booking a free discovery call, where you’ll:

• Experience a tiny coaching session firsthand

• See if we’re a good match

• Hear (at least) one specific strategy that you can use to get started with solving this on your own.

Check the schedule here to book a time - I’m excited to connect with you!

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What’s your most important daily need that fosters your overall well being? Focus on that this week, and tell me about it in the comments!