S3 E26: Create A Fresh Start Anytime You Need It
If you’re tired of feeling stuck, spinning your wheels, and not moving forward with that creative project you've been planning on starting forever, this episode is for you. Often we wait for “just the right time” to start, which can actually defer the project further, but we can create that fresh start anytime we decide to! Listen in for some tips on how to get started, so you can get that creative momentum going in a supportive and self-compassionate way.
If you need some encouragement, you can always send me a note. I'm always here for little pep talks, and I'm rooting for you!
RESOURCES DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:
MORE FROM REBECCA
Rise Above the Overwhelm - laser-focused 1-time coaching sessions
Fuel Your Creative Work With Compassionate Productivity workbook
TRANSCRIPT
Welcome to Episode 26 of Being A Whole Person. Today I'm going to talk about fresh starts, and that you can create a fresh start whenever you want to. It's the end of January when I'm recording this, and you'll be hearing this in early February, if you hear it right away. I joked at the beginning of a couple episodes ago, that the fresh start feeling at the beginning of 2021 really disappeared so fast, because of all the crazy events that were going on here in the U.S., and because it's still a pandemic, all this stuff, it kind of just feels like 2020 Part 2, instead of a new year. But it kind of doesn't matter.
I like to talk about harnessing that fresh start new year energy, because I think it can be powerful when we turn over the calendar, even though it's completely arbitrary. It can feel like a new beginning. And if that makes you feel pumped to start your website to finally showcase your photos, to write that music, write that book, whatever it is, if you have the inspiration, I say run with it.
I also think that that New Year energy can be overrated. We don't have to wait around for a new year, or a new start to get started. So when I talk about a fresh start, I'm largely talking about a feeling. But you can add some external parameters to it. As I've been posting this month on Instagram, January is around the time that people's New Year's plans and goals start to fizzle, because maybe we give too much power to that date on the calendar, without the follow through without the reflection, without the ongoing checking in with ourselves to see if these things still align. I talk more about this in Episode 22, a gentler and more reflective approach to goal setting that isn't so year based, necessarily, and isn't so all or nothing. So you can go check that out if you haven't heard it yet.
The truth is that we can really decide to have a fresh start, and create that fresh start anytime we want to, regardless of the external circumstances. Although we can use those to our advantage, like I said, I just want to acknowledge for a moment that there might be a lot of external circumstances that might make it hard for you to have that fresh start feeling to start a new creative project, and I do want to honor that. And if it isn't the right time, it isn't the right time, but today I'm going to talk about making that fresh start and maybe daring you to believe it's possible to have a fresh start if you didn't think it was possible.
So there's some logical times when you might want to declare a fresh start, and a new beginning for yourself. The new year is one, the beginning of a new month, sometimes I like to challenge myself to do a certain habit for a whole month, and really focus on it for that month. Something about turning over that calendar page feels really good. Maybe a Monday or a new work week, whenever that might be for you, is a good time to say, “Hey, I'm gonna start doing a few minutes of meditation before breakfast every day”, or whatever that is that you want to put into your life. But equally good is 3pm on a Tuesday, if that's when you're free. Or maybe the inspiration strikes you at 10pm on a Friday, and that feels like a weird time to go start a creative project. But if you're feeling it, cool, maybe that's the start of something!
It might be after a trip or a vacation, which I know is not necessarily as applicable right now, but that's a time when I feel a little bit of a reset. The beginning of a school year, if that affects you, the beginning of summer - anytime when you're having a natural break or shifting point in your schedule can be a good time to plan for starting something new. Maybe you got a really good night's sleep for the first time in a while and you finally feel this sense of renewal and that gets you going to grab your paintbrush, or whatever it is.
I also just want to make a quick note that you don't need to wait for a manufactured fresh start. I know sometimes I have thought to myself, “Oh, this 3pm on a Tuesday or whatever, it's not really good time. I'll wait and start tomorrow.” And then the next day you say the same thing, “I'll start tomorrow,” next day, next day... This might have happened to you before, it's very familiar.
We don't want to use the scheduled fresh start as an excuse to defer starting something if we're having trouble getting going. But truly, that Monday might be the best time and you commit to yourself, and you follow through? Awesome. If it feels a little hard to get started with your new creative project or habit that you're trying to start, remember that you don't need to do it all at once. You're just starting. So can you do a smaller version to start if it feels intimidating.
For instance, if your project is to record an album, but you don't have any music written yet, you can start by just thinking of one song and starting there. Or, if one song feels too big, just write a little snippet. Just write five notes, whatever it is that feels attainable at that moment, make it as small as you need to. You might just be collecting ideas on the first day, and that's okay, too. If you want to use oil paints, but it's too cold outside, and that's what's stopping you, can you do a different type of painting? Could you do some drawing? If you are trying to work on creating a website for your project (or maybe creating a website is the project), maybe you don't think, “I'm creating a website,” you think, “Okay, I'm just looking at the homepage right now.” Or, “I'm just deciding what the layout of it will be.” Pick one aspect.
If you're trying to restart something that you haven't done in a while, that might feel kind of tender. Go ahead and do the most fun and familiar version of it on the first day - you don't have to make it super hard, and you don't have to like, buckle down and be disciplined. And yes, discipline is really important in keeping up your creative practice. But on the first day, make it feel good. Make that your goal because that will help reinforce you wanting to keep showing up.
Like, if I take a break from playing piano for a while, I pick, usually, some samba to play when I come back, because I just want it to feel good. I just need to remind myself how good it can feel, and why I like doing it, because, ultimately, if I start by feeling good, I know I'll want to do more, and that will spark, “Oh, yeah, what about this song I haven't played in a while” and, “Oh, maybe I could work on improvising,” and, you know, it just snowballs from there.
If you're worried about going too light on yourself, if you're the kind of person who tends to set really high expectations, you can challenge yourself more on day two, or day three, or day seven. Showing up is the most important part, when you're getting started.
I really like to try making a time commitment versus a commitment to an amount of work, because this eliminates any potential frustration or stuckness that you're feeling. You might think, “Oh, I was gonna finish a whole page of writing,” and you're really stuck, and you just can't make it to the end of that page. If you set a time commitment for yourself, instead, like, “I'm gonna sit down and write for half an hour, I'm gonna sit down and write for an hour,” and that's truly all you can do during that period of time, then you upheld your commitment to yourself, you focused your attention on your effort, and effort is so important.
We need to celebrate effort as much, if not more than we celebrate results, I think, because results are great, like, that's what we're working towards, right? We want to have the finished product, but we don't want to ignore the journey along the way. I know that's a cliche, but it's a cliche for a reason. We're not always in control of the results.
Say you're trying to get a book published. That's not all up to you - that involves other people. But if you say, I'm going to focus my attention on my effort, and I am going to send this to, you know, I'm going to pitch 10 people, then, you know you completed that and you've done something to move yourself forward. And even if it doesn't work out, we all know that rejections are part of the deal.
This is why I talk a lot about celebration with my coaching clients, and why, when we're finishing up a package together, we always spend the last few minutes having a mini party to celebrate the growth - celebrate the effort, as well as the results.
Make this an exciting event, make the start of this project, or new habit into an event just for you. You could get other people involved, too, if that feels fun and exciting. But first, think about the most important reason why you're doing it.
Why are you making an Instagram for your photos? Why are you writing this play? Why are you working on this website? Why are you starting this painting? Whatever it is, declare that to yourself. So now you know why you're doing it, very explicitly, and now you're declaring that this activity is an act of caring for yourself, showing up for yourself, showing up to do that thing that makes you feel like yourself. I know, I don't totally feel like myself, if I don't have making music as part of my life. If I take a long break, it feels like something is missing. So, you're doing that for yourself, when you show up.
Bonus, when you inevitably start to waver in your commitment later...this happens to all of us, it's okay, it doesn't signal the end, or a lack of discipline or you not being cut out for art, or whatever it is, it's just a normal thing. Coming back to this “why” will help feel you through those harder times - the messy middle of your project.
So, I think it's really fun and meaningful to have a ritual to signify the beginning, and really make it special. It could be something super simple, like lighting a candle. It could be savoring a cup of tea that you really like. It's just like a mini ceremony. It could be saying something out loud to yourself, to affirm that “why”, maybe or just that you're beginning, here we go. You could say it to a loved one, your spouse, you could say it out loud to the internet, if you want that outside feedback. I know it might not feel like you want the public to know, it might be more private,ut if you're feeling like you want to share, maybe that's a cool thing to do, too.
Optionally, you can do something to clear energy out of your body like exercise, or do breath work, or just shake your body - anything that you need to clear out the resistance symbolically, and kind of give a bodily symbol that you're beginning, you're ready to begin. And then you're ready!
You can go do step one, which could just be drawing for 15 minutes, it could be longer, whatever it looks like, go do it, and then celebrate because you're doing it! I know that might sound silly, like, “What am i celebrating? I didn't accomplish anything.” But you did. If you've been thinking about restarting your creative practice for so long, and you finally do it, that is so worth celebrating - both that you motivated yourself to do it, and that it's happening. You're doing the thing that you always say you wish you were doing more often - that is huge!
Starting can take so much effort, because inertia is powerful, but once you start, it's so much easier to keep going. I think that's worth celebrating, too.
A side note, if you want a more general way to reconnect with your creativity, because maybe you do a lot of different creative things, and you're really not sure which one to come back to right now, because it's been so long, definitely check out my Feel Good Creativity Un-Challenge, which is five days of creativity prompts and wellness prompts, to get you excited again, to get you doing fun creativity. Each creative prompt is paired with that wellness prompt to help you soothe your nervous system and get your mind in the right place. I'll put a link for that in the show notes. It has been very popular and very fun.
So, if you are ready for a fresh start, I hope that you can go make one, maybe even today. Let me know - what are you starting? Or what are you restarting? I'd love to hear about it. You can tag me on Instagram, you can send me an email. All my contact info will be in the show notes. I would love to know, and I want you to know that I'm always rooting for you. So, I hope that has infused you with some zest, some fresh new energy, and with that, I'm wishing you a great week.
Pianist and composer