We’ve all had times when we felt too overwhelmed to make dinner, let alone tackle the unending list of tasks and creative goals that most of us have! 

The good news is that you definitely don’t have to do it alone - there are so many ways to support yourself in your physical, mental, and emotional wellness so that you have the time and energy for the things that replenish you and matter most (your creative practice, nourishing habits, relationships, etc.)

Being and feeling supported is absolutely not selfish (we all know the cliché about putting on your own oxygen mask first), and it also has a ripple effect: when you’re supported in your own life, you have the energy resources to pass on that support to others. 

The first thing I think of when I hear the word “support” is having other people you can lean on, but usually the most accessible type of support comes from within:

SELF CARE

Giving yourself the right kind of self care support has a simple formula: 

1. Identify what you need

2. Respond to and fulfill the need

Just because the formula is simple doesn’t mean that it’s easy, though!

Self care is very personal and variable, so it can take some work to figure out, but a commitment to developing a practice of awareness goes a long way! (If you need an easy way to start doing this, check out my weekly and monthly check in worksheets here.)

And of course, the definition of self care is much broader than the pop culture / Instagrammable bath bomb and face mask version - for a bunch of easy ideas, check out the prompts from Self Care September, most of which are both free and quick to do! 

One of the things I teach my clients is to have a list of go-to self care actions for commonly occurring situations. For example, here’s my current list of go-tos for when I feel anxious: breathing/meditation, essential oils, putting my hand on my heart, tapping, CBD, more exercise/walks, etc. That way, when I’m in that situation, I don’t have to think as much about how I can best support myself in that moment. Your list will probably be different, since we’re different people, but I highly encourage you to start one, and let it evolve over time. 

SELF-COMPASSION

None of the self care I mentioned above is going to have a fully positive effect if done from a place of self-criticism, which is why I always talk about self compassion as one of my most important values (both in work and life). 

Whatever you’re doing, the best, most basic type of support is to be kind to yourself, no matter what - we all deserve that!

If things have been hard, you can simply say to yourself, “I’m having a tough time right now”, or “it’s been tough lately”, instead of beating yourself up about why you’re not enough, why you’re not creating enough, or why you’re not doing a better job. Our brains are really good at that kind of negative self-talk, but you can make friends with yourself, even if it takes some practice. 

Remember that you’re doing your best under the circumstances. Often what we view as our “best” is the idealized 100% energy version of ourselves that doesn’t occur in real life very much (which is normal). 

I’ve found it extremely helpful to detach from reacting to my “success” or lack thereof with completing my to do list and instead, to just accept it as it is with the intention to try again tomorrow, and to use that information as evidence that perhaps my expectations were too high. (Spoiler: they almost always are.)

For those of you who are new to the practice of self compassion, I love Dr. Kristin Neff’s  meditations and exercises, which are free on her website. She speaks in a way that sets a great example of how we can talk kindly to ourselves, and, bonus, her voice is very soothing.

There are so many kinds of support that we can give ourselves, but sometimes it isn’t enough, and that’s the perfect time to look outward for support.

FRIENDS + LOVED ONES

Sometimes what we need most is a reminder that we are loved - this is no small thing, but can get lost in the course of our busy lives. Text a good friend when you need a little pep talk - most of us have at least one person who is always happy to support us in this way, we just have to ask! Spending time with furry friends, whether yours or someone else’s, is also supportive in a less verbal, but still significant way.

Make a little time for seeing or talking to the people who matter most to you (FaceTime counts, if that’s all you can manage!) This could also have more structure, like a weekly accountability call with a fellow creative buddy.

Even if you’re afraid you’ll be seen as a burden, I guarantee that people want to help you, because I’m sure that you’d do the same for them. When you’re particularly busy or overwhelmed, asking people to do things for you can really take a load off. For example, can your partner/roommate take over a specific duty for a week, like doing dishes? You can reciprocate later when you have the chance. 

COMMUNITY

There are also so many opportunities to find support from your larger communities, whether related to your work, spirituality, or personal interests. I often forget how many people I’m actually connected to, through the various communities I’m a part of online and in real life. It might surprise you how willing people are to help and support, but again, you don’t know until you ask!

In 2018, I chose CONNECT as my intention word for the year, and, even though I didn’t necessarily feel positive about networking, once I reframed it as simply a way to connect with interesting people, I began to like it, despite my introvert nature. During that time, with a little extra effort, several people who started as merely acquaintances became friends and collaborators. 

If you’re feeling a lack in the community department, there are a seemingly infinite number of online groups to engage with, and using sites like Meetup.com, you can use the accessibility of the online realm to meet people with common interests in real life. Who have you been thinking about reaching out to? Trying sending them a note of appreciation or inviting them to coffee, you never know what might happen! 

You’re also more than welcome to join us in Compassionate Creativity Coworking Club, which is a great place to get your important creative work done, and support each other! 

PROFESSIONAL 

Lastly, there’s the realm of professional support: 

• Health providers: doctor, acupuncture, massage, etc.

• Mental health providers: therapist or psychiatrist

• Spiritual support

• Professionals who know how to do things that you don’t (taxes, etc.), that take you a long time, or don’t want to do 

• Coaches and mentors: Even coaches need coaches - every time I’ve worked with a coach, getting that outside perspective has been invaluable, validating, and motivating! 

The expectations that we put on ourselves can be so high, which can make it tough to ask for help, and also may be compounded if you’re a self employed person used to doing a lot of things on your own or are of stoic Midwestern upbringing. (Hi, I can relate!)

There’s NOTHING wrong with not being able to do everything on your own.

Even though we often strive for that, no one can do everything independently, not even the most ambitious of us, and this is an unrealistic standard to hold ourselves to. Sometimes the most ambitious people are the most in need of help but the least likely to ask for it, so it’s no surprise that so many of us are burned out. We often underestimate the amount of impact a little bit of support can have, so don’t be afraid to seek out and ask for what you need!

If you need help figuring out what type of support is the best next step to replenish your energy and move you toward your creative goals, sign up for a free discovery call (or send me a note on Voxer), so we can figure it out together!

What do you think of when you hear the word “support”? What kind of support do you need right now?