Creative Coaching for Musicians

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Understand Your Creative Motivation Using the 4 Tendencies



If you prefer to listen rather than read, this topic is also available in podcast format as Episode 59 of Being A Whole Person. Click here to listen in your podcast player of choice!

The book The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better and Other People's Lives Better, Too by Gretchen Rubin is one of my favorite resources for understanding creative motivation.  When talking with creative coaching clients about habits and finding space in their lives for creativity, I find myself recommending it often. 


The 4 Tendencies help you understand how you react to expectations, which directly relates to motivation, and is foundational to fueling your creative practice. 


Check out Episode 58 of Being A Whole Person for a deep dive on what it means to practice and how to have a nourishing creative practice, if you're interested in going deeper on that topic. 


I’ve found this framework very helpful over the years, but I haven't seen anyone apply it to creative work specifically, so in this article I’ll share how each of the tendencies’ reactions to expectations (inner and outer) might impact how you approach your creative practice, with tangible tips to help each tendency tap into creative motivation!


Before reading this post, you might want to take the official quiz to figure out which of the four tendencies you are dominant in, or keep reading and trust your intuition to see which type you think you are. 

The 4 Tendencies framework is all about how you react to expectations, both internal and external. 

  • External or outer expectations might be something like meeting a work deadline where you’re accountable to others, following traffic laws, or showing up to gigs on time. 

  • Internal or inner expectations are things that you've decided on for yourself are important, such as quitting some kind of a habit, or keeping up with your creative practice.



Of course, there are limits to sorting people into types, and you might relate to more than one of these tendencies, but like any system of typology, it helps you to understand yourself a little bit better, even if you don't agree 100% with the characteristics. (Also, if you're skeptical, maybe you're a Questioner - more about that below.) 



My guideline is always to learn what you can, take what works, leave what doesn't, and, above all, trust yourself! 



WHAT ARE THE 4 TENDENCIES?


Here’s a quick description of each tendency, along with the self-descriptive sentence that Gretchen Rubin uses for each one. 

UPHOLDER:

Meets both inner and outer expectations. 

“I do what others expect of me and what I expect for myself.” 


QUESTIONER: 

Meets their own inner expectations, but resists outer expectations, since they want to question everything.

“I do what I think is best according to my judgment, if it doesn't make sense, I won't do it.”

OBLIGER:

Meets outer expectations but resist their own inner expectations. 

“I do what I have to do. I don't want to let others down, but I may let myself down.” 

REBEL: 

Resist both inner and outer expectations. 

“I do what I want in my own way. If you try to make me do something, even if I try to make myself do something, I'm less likely to do it.” 


Maybe even in these short descriptions, you are feeling a resonance with one or more tendencies. I'd love to hear which type you are, if you want to share! 


I took the 4 Tendencies quiz again recently before writing this post and recording the accompanying podcast episode, and got Obliger, which had been my result in the past, but I wanted to see if that still resonated.


Engaging in self development and moving toward more aligned work has made me less of an Obliger and has strengthened my motivation toward my own inner expectations, making it easier to stay true to myself. 


Sometimes I really feel like an Obliger in terms of projects that feel scary or vulnerable, or things that don’t have immediate results like working on SEO for my website, and I need some kind of outer accountability to help me get those things done. But, in some habits, like my daily walk, I feel more like an Upholder because I'm easily able to stay true to my own expectations. So, if you feel a kinship with more than one tendency, feel free to read and take to heart as much as feels relevant.



HOW THE 4 TENDENCIES IMPACT YOUR CREATIVE MOTIVATION + TIPS FOR EACH TENDENCY

UPHOLDERS

Since Upholders tend to meet inner and outer expectations, they usually find it easy to stick to habits. For artists, this translates to being the tendency most likely to have a really solid creative practice if that's a priority (I'm guessing it is, if you're reading this!) 


If you're an Upholder, getting clear on your priorities and declaring an action related to them is likely going to be enough for you to follow through on your goals. 

Example: If you say you're going to write 1000 words every day, once you've stated that goal to yourself, you're going to be able to follow through with that because you have set really clear expectations. 


Upholders like and are good at following rules, so specific deadlines are going to be really important, even self-imposed project timelines. Since Upholders are compelled to meet expectations (even if they seem pointless), regular self-reflection to check in and make sure your plan is still resonating with you is critical. 


If you need any help in the reflection department, I have free weekly and monthly check in worksheets for you! The weekly check-in is just 4 questions which take 10 minutes or less to answer (easy to fit into your busy life), and the monthly check-in is a bit longer - both continue to be extremely helpful for me!

The downside of being an Upholder can be rigidity - adhering too much to the structure of rules. So, opening up to experimentation might be helpful to lean into, but if experimentation without boundaries feels scary, set some parameters for it. Maybe you want to be scientific about your creative experimentation, like you're going to improvise on a certain theme each day for a week, or work through a set of creative prompts. Setting boundaries and parameters is going to make it easier not to be limited by rigidity. 


Tracking habits with a progress chart might be appealing for Upholders. In 2022, I have been tracking my piano practice with a habit tracker, and it’s fun to color in the boxes for each day. 


Upholders might also find it helpful to treat a life or a schedule change as a reset and a time to start new habits. It’s often easier to start something new after your schedule has been disrupted, building a new habit into the reimagined schedule. 


Over the years, I’ve usually had some aspect of my work that operates on a school year schedule, so it’s potentially like there’s a new year feeling in the fall, in January, and at the start of the summer. Even if you’re not on this type of schedule, there may be seasons of certain activities coming and going, and you might be able to work with that to create a reset. 

REFLECTION QUESTIONS FOR UPHOLDERS:

• Which of my habits are nurturing my creativity and my wellness right now?

• Which of my habits aren’t serving me anymore that I could stop?

• Am I clear on my priorities in my art and in my life in general?


QUESTIONERS

Questioners tend to question all expectations (it's right there in the name!), but tend to meet inner expectations and resist outer expectations, since they're motivated by reason, logic, and fairness. If you’re a Questioner, you might hate any arbitrary rules that you can’t find a purpose in - the equivalent of when your parents said, “Because I said so,” as a reason when you were young. 

So, asking what needs to get done and why is critical for a Questioner. It might not just be that the urgent stuff needs to get done - you need to connect with the purpose of the activity enough to feel the desire to do it. 


For Questioner artists, connecting deeply with your “why” for creating, in whatever your artistic medium may be, is essential. 


Even if your overall “why” for creating in a big picture sense is really clear, sometimes it's harder to justify individual parts of the process. 


Example: If you're doing a Kickstarter to crowdfund a project that you feel really connected to and excited about, perhaps you can’t wait to share it with the world, but you might just feel like the work should speak for itself. So, making the videos and writing the marketing posts might kind of feel like a drag. 


If you’re getting stuck on certain steps of a project, keep connecting it back to your overall “why”, when that step doesn't feel necessary. Remind yourself that writing posts for your Kickstarter campaign will help people connect to you and your project, and increase the likelihood that they’ll support you, which will help your project succeed and come to life!


Depending on your situation, you might have client projects or other things that feel more financially certain, but not necessarily passion-inspiring, as part of your overall workload. So, Questioners, if some of the things you do for work don't feel that aligned, make sure you have at least one project going at any time that feels internally meaningful to you. 


(This is also good advice for everybody, but especially for Questioners who really need to connect with purpose in order to get motivated.) 


One downside of being a Questioner is that you might tend to be an over-researcher. Since you’re motivated by reason, it makes sense that you’d want to have all the necessary info. But, this could lead to analysis-paralysis, where you might get stuck in the research phase and not make it to taking action. 


When you're planning a creative project, it can be really easy to get excited about the research and planning, because that's the “safe”, secret phase before you actually have to start doing anything or telling anyone about it. The research phase can be like your own little cocoon that you’d rather stay in than move forward with the project. 


Researching to find the best softwares, systems, or platforms for publishing and sharing your work can especially be a rabbit hole that’s easy to fall down, causing you to spend too much time doing that research, which takes time away from creating. 


If this happens to you, it doesn’t mean certain doom - just be aware of it, especially if you have perfectionist tendencies. Then you can help yourself not to get stuck by setting a time limit or a deadline for the research phase of your project.


You also might want to break down each part of the project into stages and steps, and set time limits for each part. For example, if you know that you tend to get stuck in the middle of a project and have trouble finishing, you can tell yourself to declare that section “finished for now” and move on, with permission to go back and edit later. 


For Questioners, leaning into your internal compass, intuition, or any spiritual practices that help you stay in touch with yourself is extra important, so that you’re really clear on what your inner expectations are. Don't be afraid to set up your creative habit exactly how it works for you, even if you think that might seem weird to other people. Say you need a really specific environment for writing, such as a certain type of music, lighting a certain scented candle, etc., and that's what makes you connect with your creative flow. Knowing what works for you is great, because you can make that a supportive creative ritual and trust in it. 


In terms of reflection, you can also use your questioning nature to your advantage by questioning your habits regularly. 


REFLECTION QUESTIONS FOR QUESTIONERS 

• Is this habit still working for me? Why or why not?

• Is doing this creative practice in this particular way still working for me? 

• If not, what would make it work better?” 


OBLIGERS

Obligers tend to meet outer expectations but resist their own inner expectations. (Obligers make up a large portion of the population, so if you’re one, you’re not alone!) 

If you’re an Obliger doing a project on your own, where you’re not accountable to someone else, it might feel hard for you to justify spending time on creativity, or to prioritize it above more immediately lucrative pursuits. (Of course, there are practical, financial factors involved, but you probably want to prioritize both.) 

Obligers also can fall into a kind of self-sacrifice mode in serving others, especially educators, coaches, therapists, and anyone whose job involves a lot of outward interpersonal energy. It’s wonderful to be so dedicated to serving, but if it’s at the expense of your own mental and physical health, this can lead to burnout. 


There can also be a limit to the Obligers’ tendency to meet outer expectations. When you're feeling burned out, the phenomenon of Obliger rebellion can cause you to refuse to meet an expectation, so that you can cope. That can be a signal that you need to step back and take more rest time to replenish some energy. Check out the reflection questions in this article to diagnose which type of rest you might need.


Because Obligers tend to want to please others, it could be difficult for you to say no to external requests. Also, if you’re multipassionate, you probably like doing a lot of different things, and if it’s hard to choose between creative passions, it's easy to want to say yes to too many things.

It’s a great personal policy to take time to answer when someone asks you to do something - you can say, “Hey, that sounds really interesting, can I take a day to think about it?” or “I need to make sure I have the time and bandwidth to take this project on. Can I get back to you next week?” Setting this small boundary will give you time to really think about whether it feels aligned, so you don't just default to “yes”.


It’s also great to have a personal litmus test for what your current capacity is, so you have a better idea of how many and what kinds of creative projects you can take on at any given time. 


If you're an Obliger, you might be taking on projects or marketing methods that you think other people expect you to do, or that you think you “should” do because they seem to work for others. That sounds okay at first, but it might be extra hard to follow through once you're in the messy middle part of the project, if you've lost sight of why you should even be doing that thing, and are already feeling overloaded. 


Obligers usually need external accountability to motivate themselves. So if you're an Obliger, and you're feeling down on yourself because you need external accountability to keep up a consistent creative practice, there is no shame in that, and you’re not alone. 


Knowing that you need that kind of accountability is valuable self-knowledge, and you can seek support accordingly, from an accountability partner friend or a coach (I love supporting artists in this way)


You can also join us in Compassionate Creativity Coworking Club, so you have a dedicated time every week to show up with the support of a friendly community and get things done together. You're always welcome to come and try a free session to see if you like it! 


Obligers also might want to declare publicly that they have a creative goal, like saying on Instagram, “I'm going to do this project, and I'm going to show you when I'm finished.” Just telling someone else publicly might be enough to make you follow through. If that's motivating, that's great. You can leverage external accountability however you need to, so that you can reach your most important creative goals!


REFLECTION QUESTIONS FOR OBLIGERS

• What am I available for / what do I have the energy for currently? 

• What am I allowing myself to say yes to right now?

• What do I need to say no to in this season?


REBELS

If you’re a Rebel, you tend to resist both inner and outer expectations, which potentially makes it hard to stay consistent with a creative practice. So, asking yourself, “What do I want to do today?” is going to be way more motivating than “What do I need to do?” or “What do I need to do for someone else?” 

Creating a mental space for creativity that allows you to do what you want, even if it doesn't seem consistent, might work better for you. Your habits might vary wildly from day to day, such as a 3-hour session where you get lost in the flow of painting one day, but the next day you feel like spending time connecting with fellow artists, or planning a new project instead. 

On the surface, you might look inconsistent in your creative practice, but it’s really important for Rebels to allow for some spontaneity in your process in order to be motivated. If you’re able to, set up your schedule with some open spaces for spontaneous creation, so that if the mood strikes, you’re ready to follow it. Maybe you have one day a week, that's a “do whatever I want” day (overtly creative or not), since curiosity is what feeds creativity. 

Making space for a little adventure might be just the thing you need, and perhaps the experiences that come from that will be a future creative spark? You never know where your next exciting idea will come from! 

For Rebels, it's important not to listen too closely to others that are saying you have to do something a certain way, because you'll probably just want to rebel and do the opposite. Maybe you really like drawing in the morning, but you heard someone talk about how you have to do your morning routine a specific way, so you just decide not to get out of bed early, because you want to push back against that expectation, but engaging in some creativity in the morning would have felt good. 

Side note: If anyone ever tells you that you have to do things a certain way to have success, and encourages you to ignore your own nature and preferences, that’s probably a red flag. “Know thyself” is good advice for all of us, not just Rebels.

Rebels might want to create a menu instead of a to-do list for the day, with the heading “Today I can…” instead of “Today I have to…” For instance, maybe you can do a writing prompt, or you can choose something else entirely. It's completely up to you to follow what feels best. 

If you can make breaking the rules a part of your process, that can be really helpful in not letting rules that don’t work for you hold you back. Being immune to other people's expectations can be a huge asset to you as an artist, because breaking rules might make you more innovative. It can also help you create new creative processes that work the best for you personally. 

Knowing how your art relates to your identity is key for Rebels. If that relationship doesn't feel strong enough, it's worth giving some thought to how you could strengthen or at least understand it better. If your art feels really like a part of you, you'll be more likely to want to do it, and that desire is so key for your motivation as a Rebel. 

If you are a Rebel talking to yourself, or to another Rebel, it's good to present the facts of a situation as information, consequence, and then choice, knowing that these are the facts, but the choice is ultimately up to you, or the person you're talking to. 

Example: You can say, “If I practice violin at least five times a week, I'm going to feel more connected to music and better prepared for my upcoming performance, and that's something I want.” So, that might be more motivating than, “I need to keep up a habit because it's important to keep up the habit.” 

Like Questioners, focusing on the “why” that’s the foundation for your creative work is very important, and framing the mission of your work as a rebellion against something might be motivating. For example, if I were a Rebel, I could really lean into the part of my message that is against toxic productivity, then let that lead to focusing on the positive aspects of “here's what I can do instead.” The rebellion might be what really lights your fire if you're a Rebel. (Again, it’s in the name!) 

As a Rebel, you might also feel motivated by leaning into the uniqueness of how you're creating and how your approach sets you apart from others. Sharing your process might be a fun way to connect with others (I’m always intrigued by other artists’ processes), but also really helpful from a marketing standpoint, because uniqueness is what helps you stand out from others and helps your work get discovered more easily! 

REFLECTION QUESTIONS FOR REBELS

• What do I want to create or do today?

• How can you make breaking the rules a part of your creative process?

• How does your art and creative practice make you feel unique and true to yourself?


I hope that, in reading about the 4 Tendencies, you felt seen, and found some of the reflection prompts helpful for shaping your own creative motivation and habits.

Which tendency are you, and which parts of this article resonated the most with you? 

I’d love to know - feel free to send me an email or you can find me on Instagram and let me know. I'm rooting for you in your creative practice!